The Good, The Bad, and the "Really?"

my mom: "meet a nice young man at Church" Ok, so it isn't quite as "Leave-it to Beaver" as that....
me: mom, you don't understand just because guys go to church and can spout out Spurgeon's sermons, does not make them godly men.

And so the troubling facts:
1. Dating in the first place is pressure
2. If you happen to convince yourself to go be on a date it may be that two minutes into the conversation thinking "Dear Lord, get me out of here or hurry up with that glass of wine", you are then forced to take two hours of your life being pleasant, aggreable, and you sometimes throw him a "oh, that was so funny" laugh. (Waiter...that wine?)
3. Do people really date anymore?

Not that I'm Ms. Experienced.
Definately not.
But I have had experience- enough that I feel like I can atleast with some credibility write.


Suspects.
1. We'll call him Bob.
Bob and I were "friends". Friends that hung out, went to eat, he would pay - we'd laugh, talk about God. He was Presbyterian so we'd often talk "doctrine" which I liked.
He liked not Star Wars, but Star Wars' twin...oh gosh, what's it called...well, he liked it. Had to watch it. Apparently I've surpressed the memories of the horrid, horrid movies. I thought they were a comedy. He didn't think that was funny when I mentioned it.
Bob had a stuffed animal his mom had given him. He slept with it and while it was cute...was it?...I fast forwarded to marriage counseling and knew "Fluffy" would somehow come up in our spats....


2. I once had a date, that was one time with a man who knew my faith was important to me.
Our conversation went something like:
We'll call him Andy.
Nat: What was your day like?
Andy: Well, today I had lunch with my dear brother in Christ. (plllleeeeaaaase.....)
And that's how the night went......He kept sitting in my car, I thought maybe wanting to kiss, so finally I said " I just don't kiss on the first date". He later went on to pursue a girl from his church. I think she was far more "spiritual" than I. (Please take this all in jest....mostly;)
Andy. Don't think he was a bad guy, just needed to be more real which let's face it we all do. But if there is anything worse than being unequally yoked perhaps it's being yoked to a man who would like to hand you his spiritual resume before dinner.

3. My relationship with Goerge. Goerge was cute, "knew the Lord", and yet somehow whenever God came up it came across to me as "words". I felt God was "used" if that makes sense. Though there are deeper red flags, those are to be shared with my girlfriends:), not a blog...:)
1. Goerge goes to a Bible study, comes over and tells me the minister spoke on abstinence.

Goerge: One day your husband will thank me.
Nat: (Hmmm....well, what if your'e my husband one day, aren't we dating?) Really, why's that Goerge?
Goerge: Because I didn't de-flower you. (I'm sorry, you didn't just use that word, did you?)
Nat: Well, Goerge (very handsome Goerge), I think my husband will thank ME.
Goerge: I have a way with women.
As though to imply he could have me should he decide to.
Goerge let me pay for meals, asked me if we should go "dutch", used God as an "out". I was overly smitten with him, apparently giving me invisible blinders to flashing "STOP" signs all about me. I knew Goerge two months. That was one month twenty nine days too long as I should have not seen him the day after we met.

And so the dilemma: The "Christian" guys aren't always so "Christian" and use God when convenient, or perhaps to impress, etc.
The "bad" guys are fun and non - judgemental. But herein lies the problem. They are "bad guys".
And then there are the "good Christian guys." The real authentic ones. The ones you are interested in. They seem to be
A. Married.
B. MIA.
C. On a dating "sabattical"
D. All of the above (well, that doesn't work but there ought to always be a D all of the above.

And so meeting "godly men" I have found is not always at church.
I happen to have a very handsome, compassionate, sweet Jewish friend who is far more moral and quite the gentlemen than some of our"church-goers". (Can one marry someone who is Jewish? Wasn't Jesus? Ya, okay....)

But they are out there. I've met them. They're there. I think as I get older what I want is authenticity more than anything. Genuine compassion for others and a desire for the Lord.
He doesn't need to know "systematic theology", or be able to quote to me Martin Luther's 95 Thesis.
He needs to love. The Lord. Me. My daughter.
I'm sure I'm often guilty of the same things our suspects our.....not all, but some....
So often I hope he just lands on my front door. The doorbell rings. He enters.
He's fun, goofy, charismatic, charming, loving, real, edgy and of course dashidly handsome!
Alarm Clock. Dreaming.
But I've found that even the most handsome can become quite unattractive and vice versa.

And so for now I won't be dating. As I'm just focusing on Annie and me.
But when I do.....
God help me....
And may he be out there (And God help him even more) (haha....sort of....)
Confession: My best friend and I have a rule. We give each other our dates numbers (safety) and then have them call an hour into the date incase we need to "escape" . "I'm terribly sorry my friend is quite ill." (Yes, we're British liars and in the 18th Century on dates...)