Monday, July 5, 2010

Annie and Mom's Famous Carrot Cake









She eyes the cake...
Permission to taste...
She looks ill...







Auf Weidersehen good-bye

I hate goodbye's. Well, mostly. I hate and loathe the goodbye's that end early. Painfully. Without reason. Whether a break up , or a friendship, a job, life as we once knew it. We cling to what we know. Because we know it. It is altogether quite familiar and safe. Even if it's not healthy. Even if it's painful. It's our pain. It's our relationship. It's our job. There are some things we will never know the reason to - why's plague our soul and cause us to take Ambien at night. To somehow quiet our minds to the how come's, the what if's, and the maybe's. These are all dangerous. They seem to imply that we know how life ought to be. We are the Director and the cast is terribly out of whack and run amuck. They are not following our Script so eloquently designed to suit....us. We are the lead in our own show. But isn't this just terrible? For we have no more reason to think we can direct life than we have reason to think we created this world we tread each day! It is nonsensical and don't we pride ourselves in our reasoning? Ought it be only fair that we take the lead and when one of our players is not acting accordingly fall apart and declare justice! Well, perhaps not. Perhaps?
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me
-James Blunt
I fear losing control. Of my life. It is all so accomodating. My , my, my. Did I ever have control? Of my relationships, my finances, my home? It's an illusion the enemy banks on to keep us in utter bondage. Suffice it to say we gladly take the reigns. And when the unthinkable (you're breaking up with ME?! You're firing ME?!) happens, we resign to the fact that it's their fault...it's God's fault. Curtain call.
Act Two. We try yet again!
How simpler our lives should be if we surrendered and waved our white flags. Surrender is strength. God, give me strength.
We balk, we throw temper tantrums at any uncertainty in our lives. We do not know what tomorrow holds (see Mattew). Isn't it best and wise to entrust it to the One who wrote the Script? Who laid out the stage we see before us? Who knows the pain of goodbye's and what if's? He is surely there! His right hand is sure to save! So, little sheep, rest in Your Shepherd. Be guided by His rod. Be disciplined by it. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding shall guard your little, precious heart.
- Nat