Tick, Tock

Timing, His, Not Mine

I Think that timing takes on a whole new meaning for a believer. In a very real sense time is something that “goes too quickly”, especially as we get older. “Oh, if I could rewind the clock”. It’s as though we blink and years have gone by. We are never quite content with the idea of time because when on the one hand we say “slow down”, it is on the other that we plead “speed up”. I believe it is in the good times that we say “slow down”, and in times of suffering that we are ready for “godspeed”. It is in the abyss of the unknown where the “tick-tock” moves a bit callously in the midst of our circumstances. David asked “How long O Lord?” And so do we. I think the verse that comes to mind is the one where we wait upon the Lord “more than watchmen wait for the morning”. It is repeated twice, probably because the psalmists eagerness and anticipation was so great. Think about having a job as a watchmen. I’m sure that it was very isolating. The whole world seemed to sleep as you lie awake. At first, perhaps as with all jobs, the man was awake, alert, ready for the night to fall. Then, as the night wore on, their bodies grew weary, their eyelids longed to close. It might have seemed as though dawn would never come. It was never there job to bring the sun, as they were of course, helpless to do so. But it always did. And so, they waited. Eagerly. Expectantly. Anticipating. Because the sun always comes.

Is not our nights often the same? Do we not begin bravely, boldly, when trouble comes,or when we await an answer, but as time wears on, perhaps grow disheartened? Tired? Weary? And it seems as though the whole world “sleeps”. When, in suffering, no matter to what extent, no matter what question we bring before the Lord, how small or how big, it might just be that it comes to the place where we do what we can…we pray, we work, we persevere…, but there is often a greater task…that of waiting. And though it is dark, and and the night feels like forever, we wait because He has told us to. But we don’t wait sulkingly, kicking the dirt beneath our feet. We wait expectantly. For we are not mere watchmen. We are children, awaiting a Father who watches us unceasingly. We wait because the Son always comes.

Amatie (French for Friendship)

I love that kind of hum drum, depressing kind of music. I don't know why I'm particularly drawn to it. Of course, I love upbeat happy tunes as well like Sinatra, Christian -mostly alternative, jazz, Brodway Musicals - can't beat Les Miserables "Who am I?....24601!" Oh, if only you could hear me really sing it. Thankfully, you cannot although some of you probably to your unfortune have.. I really came to love James Blundt's first C.D., esp. the song "Cry"

I have seen peace. I have seen pain, Resting on the shoulders of your name. Do you see the truth through all their lies? Do you see the world through troubled eyes? And if you want to talk about it anymore, Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder, I'm a friend. I have seen birth. I have seen death. Lived to see a lover's final breath. Do you see my guilt? Should I feel a fright? Is the fire of hesitation burning bright? And if you want to talk about it once again, On you I depend. I'll cry on your shoulder. You're a friend. You and I have lived through many things. I'll hold on to your heart. I wouldn't cry for anything, But don't go tearing your life apart. I have seen fear. I have seen faith. Seen the look of anger on your face. And if you want to talk about what will be, Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder, I'm a friend. And if you want to talk about it anymore, Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder, Once again. Cry on my shoulder, I'm a friend.

I think that's often what friendship is. Listening over and over even if it's the same story. I have friends like that and I'm always amazed they don't kick me to the curb and shout "Enough!" Henri Nouwen says

“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares.”

I have some friends like this. They have seen all of my flawed self - they have infact seen me hope, fear, be angry. I have infact cried on a friends apartment floor with her over and over. And sometimes that's enough. Sometimes they have, like the song, turned me back from destructive ways. While there is a time and a place for helping, offering advice, and by helping I mean not just advice, but tangible practical help if you can - sometimes one just needs to cry...on your shoulder....once again.
And then you get up. And dust yourself off. And you stop crying and you laugh. The friends you can laugh and cry with...those are your friends. I have a friend who we tried working out together. We would laugh so hard we would be on the side of the road holding our stomachs....falling over. I guess it was a different kind of workout. These are the friends I am so grateful for and to. So, laugh, and cry. And then turn on Sinatra for awhile and "think to myself what a wonderful world...."

Redemption

Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; Psalm 103:4


If you're a believer, the word redemption flows throughout our language, our pulpit, our pews. God, our Redeemer. I've been thinking about redemption a lot lately, largely in part of circumstances, largely in part of Mark. Mark would say "God can redeem this". "This can be redeemed". So, redemption: Definitions : deliverance, rescue, atonement for sin....paying off....but my favorite....repurchasing." Redemption from our sins is yes, key. But redemption from our circumstances - from something that Satan tends to destroy...is a bit different and yet a bit the same. I like the thought of God "re-purchasing" us from our situation. Whatever it might be. An illness, a dwindling marriage, friendship, mistakes....name it. Name your hardship. It's as though God says "Oh, wait a second. She's mine. He's mine. This situation's mine." to the Enemy. He redeems it. Another definition I found is "recovery by payment." Well, we know that we were "bought with a price." So is not all that we have "open for redemption". I picture a garage sale. On the table is all of our faults. All of our sins. All of our "messes". And God walks up, picks up our broken pot and says "Ah, just what I needed for my perfect plan. I'll take it."
Often I think we believe our circumstances, our "broken pots", our "lot", our mistakes to be at the Point of No Return. As though a sign the Enemy wants to stick here - Oh, big mistake. Here's your sign. A stake in the "mud". And sometimes we stick our "Point of No Return" signs into our lives and live as though this was truth. But see, God can "re-purchase" it. It is not lost. It is not "un-usable". Infact, it is probably the very things, the places in our lives with the Enemy's signs that God will use - redeeem....in other words, another definition, will rescue.

Oh God you see this place I'm in
A point of no returns
Oh God please take your gentle hands
And buy my wounds and burns

And though I staked upon a lie
Your Son, enough for it to buy
So take these signs
And instead
May these places be
The places where You tread

So all my broken pots
My bruises, weaknesses, and shame
You purchased with two wooden beams
And they are Yours to reclaim.

Nat

*This is kind of an after thought. The movie the Shawshank Redemption. A man, Andy, put in prison for a crime he did not commit - there twenty years. Most of us, certainly I, would become bitter and angry after twenty years. It just might not even seem worth it to keep going, to get out. But in the scene where he escapes, Andy rips off his clothes (we should all probably refrain from this but go with me...) and his hands fly in the air and he basks in the rain.....he basks in his freedom....he has been redeemed. He didn't escape, curl up in a bawl and sob. He didn't curse and scream that he had been in prison. Instead he saves Red, Samuel L. Jacksons character by providing him hope when he gets out into the world.
So when we're tempted to be bitter....it's probably good to recall Andy....and rejoice in God's redemption. Not think "too late", "doesn't matter".....and then when we're out it's good to help someone that's been there. And remember what Andy told Red "Get busy living or get busy dying". And then go get a boat on the beach. (No, wait. That's the movie. Probably best to refrain from that part as well.)